I have always thought of Valentine’s Day as a really fun holiday that is special for different reasons, as you go through different seasons of your life. These funny Valentine’s quotes are meant to be a lighthearted look at love and people. I hope you enjoy them.
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
These funny Valentine’s Day quotes are perfect for cards, texts, and social networking statuses. I hope these actually do make you laugh out loud! (A few of them did me!)
“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.” ~Barbara Bush
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” ~Lewis Grizzard
“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” ~Agatha Christie
“You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.” ~Anonymous
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” ~Benjamin Franklin
“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” ~Brendan Francis
“When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies’ Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?” ~Lewis Grizzard
Funny Valentine’s Quotes for Friends
Friends who will be getting together on Valentine’s Day can enjoy these funny Valentine’s quotes for friends.
“Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.” ~Julie Andrews
“Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.” ~Fernando Pessoa
“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think–in a deeper voice.” ~Bill Cosby
“Are we not like two volumes of one book?” ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmomre
You’ll find the best love quotes for Valentine’s Day HERE.
Funny Anti-Valentines Day Quotes
So, if you’re spending Valentine’s as a single, here are a few funny “anti” Valentine’s Day quotes. These are tongue-in-cheek, of course, because who could possibly be anti-Valentine’s Day?
“If you don’t have a valentine, hang out with your girlfriends, don’t go looking for someone. When it’s right, they’ll come to you.” ~Carmen Electra
“Sad thing is, you can still love someone and be wrong for them.” ~Elvis Presley
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” ~Anonymous
“Feb 14th is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.” ~Jay Leno
Find more Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes and Sayings HERE on Faithful Provisions.