I feel like God just smacked me in the face recently–in a good way! Lately, I have been struggling personally with what I thought was the sin of comparison. I was comparing myself and my life to others. These are the kinds of thoughts that have been rolling through my mind: Why can’t I do anything right? Why isn’t God blessing me in the same way He is that person? I could keep going, but suffice it to say, it was an attitude of “poor me.” I knew I just needed to have more faith in myself and trust the Lord that I am good enough for whatever He wants me to do. Rah, rah!
Now, those things are true. But God showed me the real issue of my heart this morning. I feel like I have been struggling with this comparison thing for so long. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t move past it and feel blessed. And I think now I might understand why I have gotten nowhere with it lately. You see, I have been masking the true issue, pretending it was rooted in something else.
Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands. (Deuteronomy 8:2)
God revealed to me this morning that comparison wasn’t the true issue. Instead, it was envy, jealousy, and conceitedness. Yes.
I read these words the Lord led me to this morning and I felt like I had been hit by a freight train of Truth.
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other… (Galatians 5:25-26 NASB)
I felt so dirty, so sinful. I was starting to let another sin creep in during this time: listening to the enemy’s lies. The realization of my own denial–the real issue–was breathtaking for me.
Let me back up a bit and give you some context. I have been reading through Jesus Calling by Sarah Young this year. (If you haven’t read this, I highly recommend it!) And every day the Lord gently comes down and meets me exactly where I am. He doesn’t worry about all the other stuff, but helps me resolve my sin that day, that issue. Before God opened my eyes to my real issues of envy, jealousy, and conceitedness, He so sweetly and lovingly padded my heart, so I could really hear what He was saying to me. So I would be able to respond in repentance, not in anger or explanation.
Here was my devotion from Jesus Calling on the day all this happened, November 14:
Bask in the luxury of being fully understood and unconditionally loved. Dare to see yourself as I see you: radiant in My righteousness, cleansed by My blood. I view you as the one I created you to be, the one you will be in actuality when Heaven becomes your home. It is My Life within you that is changing you from glory to glory. Rejoice in this mysterious miracle! Thank Me continually for the amazing gift of My Spirit within you.
Try to depend on the help of the Spirit as you go through this day of life. Pause briefly from time to time so you can consult with this Holy One inside you. He will not force you to do His bidding, but He will guide you as you give Him space in your life. Walk in His wondrous way of collaboration with My Spirit.
Verses: Psalm 34:5; 2 Corinthians 5:21; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Galatians 5:25
As I was finishing up my devotion, I read on a bit further, and that is when the Scripture pricked my heart.
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other... (Galatians 5:25-26 NASB)
There it was, my true sin issue. As hard as it was to hear from the Lord, I am so glad my eyes are finally opened. Now I can deal with my sin and move on to receive His blessings. What I love so much about the Lord is that in His love in creating us as relational beings, He sent us His Son, so that we could fully understand His love for us. No matter what happens to be our sin issue, all we need to do is repent and all is forgiven!
Have you ever had an “aha” moment with the Lord where you felt He pulled back the drapes for you to see the Truth? Have you had the blessing of experiencing His forgiveness? Please share your story in the comments below.
Great words this morning Kelly! When I find myself falling prey of this I thank God for what I have and he has given me and am thankful for those blessings. Gratefulness is the remedy of envy and comparison.
Mercedes
Mercedes, Yes! I agree. The only thing that pulls me out is being thankful. One thing I have learned this year, especially in my prayer life is to first praise Him and be thankful for what he has given me and done for me. It makes such a difference in the way that I approach everything after that.
Yes! The enemy loves to use distraction, discouragement, and dissatisfaction to take our focus off of God. Lately, when my day is not going well and I fall into the “poor me” mindset, the Holy Spirit has been teaching me to stop and evaluate my attitude: am I “me-focused” or “eternity-focused”? Am I thanking God or complaining? Am I taking time to listen to the Spirit, or am I rushing head-long into the next task?
God loves us so much – and He won’t leave us the way we are. He is constantly molding, breaking, and re-shaping our lives to look more like Christ. Thank You, Lord, for your unfailing love and mercy!
And thank you, Kelly, for being transparent as you share your Christian walk with us.
Leah, you are so right. I easily get distracted on “me” and this immediately leads to complaining. It is easy to complain, but it is hard to put that aside and thank God. As hard as it is when he “breaks” us, it is so worth it. I just appreciate being able to be so transparent here and be encouraged by all of you. It is a very safe place to share!
The phrase, “struggling with comparisons” sounds so much less like sin than jealousy, envy and conceitedness. But it is a wise woman who responds in repentance and obedience when God shows us our sin. Well done in casting off soft worldly explanations and calling sin what it is. Thanks for being so open.
I know, doesn’t it seem like less? I felt that was just what I was doing, seeing it as something less than it was. God was opening my eyes wide open. And I am so thankful for that. Thanks for your comment!
Thank you for this!!! I love those Aha moments also! God is so good and merciful. I follow Ann Voskamp on aholyexperience.com and one of her quotes the other day was “Why be afraid of anything when God uses everything?” How awesome is that to keep focused on?!?! We must always remember that somehow someway God can take our ugly mess and make something so beautiful out of it 🙂 Blessings to you and your ministry!
Galatians 6:9-10,
Crystal
Yes, I also love those moments. It is like all the sudden the veil has been pulled back and the light is finally on, and I FINALLY get it. Oh, and I love Ann Voscamp!
Thank you for this-it was exactly what I needed to hear today.
I love how when He speaks to one, He speaks to us all!
Comparing yourself to others results either in coming up short (not as good as), or coming up long (better than). I am guilty of both … but forgiven of both as well. This is a wonderful testimony.
Annette, I totally agree. It is such web, and sometimes I feel like I get caught no matter which way I try to get out. Thank you for your comments!
I am realizing that I have an ongoing struggle with these same issues. I have two special needs kids and I struggle when I see “normal” kids and all the things they can do that my kids cannot. Its awful, I know… but I cannot seem to move past this.
Wani, you are not alone. I felt such an overwhelming feeling while writing this that I was not the only one. 🙂
Reading this I thought, “I could be confessing that same thing right now!” It was strange. I am reading Sarah Young’s “Jesus Lives”. Same type of devotions, and WOW, yes. Meets me every day where I’m at.
Thanks!
Love Sara Young! I think her writing is so applicable for all.
Kelly – thank you for sharing the word of the Lord! And as I taking all of this in, looking into my own mirror – I realize….something BIG! The Lord speaks to us through others, some we may not know, and some that we may have known for many years – maybe ones that we lived right next door to through out our childhood on Springview Drive in Franklin! How’s that for BIG blessing!!
It just amazes me how God brings everything full circle! Thank you for sharing your heart. You are a BIG blessing!
I know exactly how you feel and have been on the journey of getting over my insecurity (even though I’m a very confident person) and pride this past year All of this began long ago with comparing myself to others. Trying to attain what I thought they had. It all began with reading Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity after I realized I was struggling in this area. Then I did Priscilla Shirer’s One in a Million Bible study which changed my life (I HIGHLY recommend it!) and now I”m working through Breaking Free. Tough, yes!! But I am so ready to truly enjoy the promised land living God has for me instead of looking at through the lens of Pride. Thanks for sharing this….
Blessings,
Angela Moore
Houston, TX