Alright, I have to admit it: I was kind of skeptical about reading The Duggars: 20 and Counting. The fact that they are arguably one of the most famous families in America, along with the fact that they seem to be doing a great job with all those kids, I was honestly concerned that I would start comparing, judging, and evaluating myself based on what Michelle Duggar does. I guess I feared being overwhelmed and not measuring up. But guess what? I was pleasantly surprised because I actually felt very encouraged in my parenting as I read. I still have a long way to go, but this book contained simple, practical advice about things that I need to be reminded of. Two things stood out:
I need to train my children. Sometimes I guess I give my children too much credit. I forget that child training is a journey, and that repetition is required. That can be frustrating, but it’s really a lot like my personal walk with the Lord. I’m constantly learning to obey Him. Sometimes I do respond to Him quickly and with the right attitude. Other times, however, I drag my feet–or worse, pretend I didn’t hear Him. Ultimately, child training is about getting our children ready to be on their own and obeying the Lord. Everything we do as parents is prep work for that goal.
I need to be sure we have fun. My children are young, and they can really struggle with hearing my voice and obeying right away. Discipline and obedience don’t need to be a chore all the time. The Duggars do something that we now call The Obey Game. We are basically role-playing the right thing to do when I ask them to do something. They stand in front of me and I will tell them something to do, such as, “Please put away your toys.” They must answer with, “Yes, ma’am, I’d be happy to.” They do it immediately and then they come back to me. So I throw fun things in, like, “Go run up and down the stairs two times.” (My son loves obeying things like that!) Now they are asking me if we can play The Obey Game!
Don’t be hesitant to read how the Duggars manage their huge family in The Duggars: 20 and Counting. There are lots of great ideas in there for how to manage your own. I enjoyed this book so much that I’ve already started reading their follow-up, A Love That Multiplies.
Children aren’t trained. They are taught.. It isn’t a good idea to copy everything on TV. I used to be a Duggar fan too until I learned of their beliefs. I prefer the word mind to obey. Obey sounds like something to be used with a dog.
I agree with A.Roddy. Some of the things I’ve learned about the Dugger’s don’t line up with good parenting; especially with what is expected of the older children. Yes, they have a lot of good things, but please be careful!
What exactly do you think is expected of the older children? I’ve read both of their books and the only thing they are required to do are chores and schooling. Everything else is of their own free will and stuff they WANT to do.
With all due respect, (I know nothing about the Duggars!) terms like “train up a child…” and “Children, obey your parents” are first used in God’s Word, not the Duggar’s book…